Today's work out: 60 mins of yoga, 15 mins of treadmill (a couple 2 minute runs).
I crossed an important threshold today - the 20 lbs mark. Hard to believe that three months ago I had an extra stone and a half around my neck (and my waist, and arms and thighs). The meeting was emotional when the leader asked me what habit changes I had made. Well, I said, I never thought I was an emotional eater. Only when I got really honest with myself and realized how psychologically tied to food I was, could I start making changes. In the meeting today we ate a snack-sized candy and were asked to express our feelings and sensory perceptions about the chocolate as we slowly ate it. Sure, it smelled good, it tasted good, it looked good, but what shocked me was that I had no emotional reaction to it whatsoever. Not good, not bad - it's just food and not the best choice for those 1.5 points. I felt like singing because I truly feel that food is starting to lose its power over me.
My Mom talks a lot about being deprived - about wanting a waffle but only being allowed to eat toast. Or wanting the chocolate but only being allowed fruit. What is remarkable to me is that my feelings of deprivation are almost completely non-existent. I am changing the way I view food and what makes me happy and gives me satisfaction so that I am changing my very wants.
Kate Moss once said, and she was severely maligned for saying this, that "nothing tastes as good as being skinny." And while the skinny she talks about might be a crazy, unreal skinny, I think she was on to something. Because, in the end, that is the choice that I am making. Do I want the four slices or pizza now (instantaneous gratification) or the number on the scale to keep getting lower (long term gratification). Losing weight, feeling better, being proud of myself, these are all long-lasting, long-term things that just can't even be equated with the small, brief, fleeting pleasure of eating four pieces of pizza.
What a hard lesson to learn. How long has it taken me? When I think of all of the mindless, thoughtless, boredom induced snack sessions I am appalled at myself. But, regrets are not helpful. I am changing my attitude now and that is what is going to get me to my goal.
I re-set my goal today, 185, that would put me in the non-obese category. I don't remember when I was last 185. What a great day that will be!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Today's Weight: 211.5, Total Weight Loss: 19.5
Today's work out: 15 mins on the Cross Ramp, 15 minutes on the treadmill at 4.0, one three minute run at 5.3, two one minute runs at 5.2. Two sets of 30 medicine ball twists, 40 crunches and 10 leg lifts. General weight lifting - chest press at 50 lbs!
I went to the gym on a Friday night a few weeks ago and thought that was the saddest night. Lots of muscle heads with obviously nothing better to do. A few general social cast-offs just looking to pass the time. Nothing good on the TVs.
But, I went tonight (Sunday night) and maybe this is the saddest night of all. You should be at home with your loved ones enjoying the last few moments of weekend freedom and, instead, you are sweating it out to Amazing Race and 60 minutes.
Of course, I have been on both a Friday night and a Sunday night - so I guess I'm the REAL loser.
Meyer and I did sprints today at the Zoo's parking garage. It was pretty awesome. I can't quite figure out why sprinting feels great and running for longer than two minutes feels like I am going to keel over and die?
I did the 2.0 miles on the Cross Ramp this week. I haven't quite figured out what that machine is supposed to train but it makes me tired and angry so it must be doing some good. I'm just going to keep plugging away at running this week. It's got to get easier at some point, right?
I went to the gym on a Friday night a few weeks ago and thought that was the saddest night. Lots of muscle heads with obviously nothing better to do. A few general social cast-offs just looking to pass the time. Nothing good on the TVs.
But, I went tonight (Sunday night) and maybe this is the saddest night of all. You should be at home with your loved ones enjoying the last few moments of weekend freedom and, instead, you are sweating it out to Amazing Race and 60 minutes.
Of course, I have been on both a Friday night and a Sunday night - so I guess I'm the REAL loser.
Meyer and I did sprints today at the Zoo's parking garage. It was pretty awesome. I can't quite figure out why sprinting feels great and running for longer than two minutes feels like I am going to keel over and die?
I did the 2.0 miles on the Cross Ramp this week. I haven't quite figured out what that machine is supposed to train but it makes me tired and angry so it must be doing some good. I'm just going to keep plugging away at running this week. It's got to get easier at some point, right?
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Today's Weight: 215.8, Total Weight Loss: 15.6
Time line to date:
January 3, 2011 - We joined 24 Hour Fitness. The sales rep asked me if I had any questions - I told him I had never been in a gym before in my life. He looked at me like I was some absolute freak of nature before casually mentioning his college years spent playing baseball and trying to sell me some personal training. I declined.
January 24, 2011 - Started weight watchers at work. The first step is admitting you have a problem - a 231 lb problem.
February 3, 2011 - Still working out 3-4 times a week - maybe the resolution will stick. Saw a guy on an elliptical playing scrabble on an iPad while "exercising." So far, he is my biggest example of they type of gym goer I really don't want to be.
March 1, 2011 - Still working out 3-4 times a week - signed the kids up for the unlimited day care so we can take them with us.
Today's work out: 30 minutes on the treadmill at 4.0, 5-6 one to two minute runs at 5.2. A few crunches on the fitness ball. Two sets of 30 medicine ball twists.
First of all, I can't believe I put my ghastly, nasty, gross weight up there for the world to see. Being over 200 lbs is pretty much my biggest shame. But, today, in the locker room, I saw a woman who was probably 250 lbs, naked and wet, toweling herself off. I realized my 200 lb problem could still be worse. I tried to burn the image into my mind indelibly so if I ever think of eating mayonaise again, I will instead get totally nauseous. Yes - over hanging belly paunch and huge pubis must equal mayonaise - not so appetizing anymore, eh?
Goal Time!
1. Do 2.0 miles on the cross-ramp, that evil combo machine where an elliptical had a baby with a stair master and they gave birth to some sort of demonic tread-cycle.
2. Run for five minutes straight. Right now I can do two. And it's HARD! Let's not ask for miracles.
3. Get under 200 lbs. Then everything will be puppies and rainbow and sweetness and light, I'm sure.
January 3, 2011 - We joined 24 Hour Fitness. The sales rep asked me if I had any questions - I told him I had never been in a gym before in my life. He looked at me like I was some absolute freak of nature before casually mentioning his college years spent playing baseball and trying to sell me some personal training. I declined.
January 24, 2011 - Started weight watchers at work. The first step is admitting you have a problem - a 231 lb problem.
February 3, 2011 - Still working out 3-4 times a week - maybe the resolution will stick. Saw a guy on an elliptical playing scrabble on an iPad while "exercising." So far, he is my biggest example of they type of gym goer I really don't want to be.
March 1, 2011 - Still working out 3-4 times a week - signed the kids up for the unlimited day care so we can take them with us.
Today's work out: 30 minutes on the treadmill at 4.0, 5-6 one to two minute runs at 5.2. A few crunches on the fitness ball. Two sets of 30 medicine ball twists.
First of all, I can't believe I put my ghastly, nasty, gross weight up there for the world to see. Being over 200 lbs is pretty much my biggest shame. But, today, in the locker room, I saw a woman who was probably 250 lbs, naked and wet, toweling herself off. I realized my 200 lb problem could still be worse. I tried to burn the image into my mind indelibly so if I ever think of eating mayonaise again, I will instead get totally nauseous. Yes - over hanging belly paunch and huge pubis must equal mayonaise - not so appetizing anymore, eh?
Goal Time!
1. Do 2.0 miles on the cross-ramp, that evil combo machine where an elliptical had a baby with a stair master and they gave birth to some sort of demonic tread-cycle.
2. Run for five minutes straight. Right now I can do two. And it's HARD! Let's not ask for miracles.
3. Get under 200 lbs. Then everything will be puppies and rainbow and sweetness and light, I'm sure.
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